Are You Disappointed With Your Life?
Are You Disappointed With Your Life? We are at a point in time where we had never been before. For many, making sense of life or work and what the future might hold is confusing. We were forced, due to the pandemic, to pause and reflect on the past eighteen months. Many feel disappointed with your lives because it does not seem to be going according to your expectations.
Our First Reaction
Our first reaction when we are disappointed is to insist on having matters go our way: our thinking, or strategy, worked in the past, why would it not work now? However, being inflexible can lead to further disappointment. As we get fixated on our desires without modulating our behaviour or, the angst and frustration are prolonged. We continue to behave the same way we did before, although our past perspective is what had to lead us to the present situation. Yet, by learning to see things differently, we can create more ease and fewer disappointments in our lives.
The Simple Truth
The simple truth is this: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When we are disappointed, we try too hard to force an issue, an idea, or an outcome to go according to what we expect, believe, or desire; we are also inadvertently generating an equal force in the opposite direction. When you insist on carrying on without questioning other possibilities or without awareness, you will create a boomerang effect and get disappointed even further. Think of a beach ball on the surface of the water. If you swim after it forcibly, it will move in the opposite direction away from you!
However, if you move towards the beach ball gently, it will start approaching you, and eventually, you will catch it. You can begin to see how exerting too much pressure can force things in the opposite direction.
To get unstuck and come out of this destructive cycle of remaining disappointed, you can start by staying flexible and asking the right question. Getting into the habit of asking the right questions provides new answers and, therefore, new pathways to alternative actions which will get you unstuck. Being mentally flexible about other ways of achieving your expectations helps you maintain your efforts towards achieving your goal without creating further tension or blockages. For example, instead of asking “why is this happening?” ask yourself: What is this showing me? The first generates more understanding and insights. The latter adds tension and more chaos.
Asking “what is this showing me?” opens up possibilities that you may not have thought of before. Moreover, phrasing the question in this way generate insights into the reasons why you are currently unsatisfied or stuck. Your brain may present with answers such as:
- “This is showing me that whatever I am doing is not bringing the right results.”
- “This is showing me that my strategy is wrong or that my execution is not working.”
When you think about, it there can only be two reasons why we are not satisfied with the outcome. Either our strategy or the execution of it is misaligned!
How To Get To Satisfaction
If you want to learn how to create satisfactory outcomes in your life, here is a little life mentoring tip:
Consider the two vital factors that influence how much joy satisfaction we experience in our lives. These two factors are Intention and Commitment. When combined, intention and commitment form the mould or our dynamic to achieving results. Ultimately the combination dictates our success template to achieving our goals, feeling satisfied and joyful, whether on a personal or professional level. And by the way, I do not differentiate between the two, for I am the same person who brings all that I am into whichever role I play, at home or work.
Two Fundamental principles
Back to creating a successful outcome: creating any result involves two fundamental aspects: Yin and Yang, female and male, content and container, plan and action. In this case, the intention is the content, and the commitment to that intentions is the energetic container that allows your goals to become real. The result or the outcome is the product of being mindful of the two primary aspects and modulating our actions in response to what is happening. Each aspect compliments the other towards creating the outcome (or the result). The result of combining our intentions and commitments are satisfaction, joy and balance.
As you decide on your goals, ask yourself what your intention is. Is the result you wish for in your best interest? Or is it the result of forcing your desire out of a lack of awareness, for example, an ego that says “because it must be this way”? If your intentions are fear-based, things can backfire! As they say, be careful what you wish for.
Once your intention is clear and stems from a genuine desire to improve your situation (and not because of selfish reasons), it follows that your thoughts, feelings, actions, and decisions, would be naturally aligned with achieving a goal you are passionate about.
Committing to a path of action demands awareness and consistency. Maintaining a degree of consistency is essential to achieving goals. Some goals are more complex than others, and therefore need to be nurtured until they are realised (or made real).
When you adopt this new perspective of awareness, flexibility to modulate your actions and apply the two fundamental principles, it becomes a way of life. Results are realised more easily and with joy!
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony” Mahatma Gandhi.
© Sahar Huneidi-Palmer